Aliyah Diary 18: Language – l’at, l’at – little by little

by tostien · November 24, 2024

Article Outline:

Brief followup about loshon hora
Oh, the food
Everyone and their grandmother has a credit card machine
More bureaucracy & clean Israeli government offices
Word Association Hebrew
Learning by Embarrassment
I’m a hero
Words of Affirmation
Reading Hebrew
A tangible measure of progress
Please comment

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The fall has sprung near the end of November with our first day below 70 degrees during the day. The weather since October has been beautiful; highs in the 80s with bright blue sky k’mat every day [basically every day]. No heat and no air conditioning on inside – just open windows and the enjoyment of not having to rake the leaves or clean the gutters.

Brief followup about loshon hora

In the last post, my wife began by speaking about the merit of learning the Jewish laws of forbidden speech and how much it has helped us. Adding here – the more I put it into practice, the less I feel the need to say it and the more it hurts my ears when others speak it. Rabbi Rockmill, ohav l’shalom said he would tell people who were cursing that it hurt his ears – it’s similar. Once you are attuned to a better level of speech, the lower level … the curse words and hurtful speech hurts your ears and people notice your speech and respect you based on it. Recently, after a long day where there was plenty to say about other people who made us feel uncomfortable, my wife and I just … didn’t speak about it and didn’t need to.

Oh, the food

Walking down the street and hearing now twice since I’ve arrived, “our food is kosher, though we’re open seven days a week” I stopped into a place with a proper teudat kashrut and for about $8 bought shakshuka with two pitas, olives and pickles, fresh parsley and more spicy stuff on the side than anyone outside of India can handle. I don’t even like shakshuka – well, now I do. (I was looking for something relatively healthy and not fried and I’m told an egg every once in a while is a good thing.) In only a few minutes the dish came out, completely hot, completely fresh, and together with a plan to eat one pita, yet eating two … this is why I’ve put on weight since arriving.

Why can’t all restaurants just be good? A bagel store on another day served portobello mushrooms and mozzarella – the bagel, the mushroom, the cheese was all just … good. Too many times in America I’ve got to restaurants where it’s just … “here’s bland noodles with pasta sauce from a industrial size can.” Walk in front of restaurants early in the morning here and sometimes you see boxes of just-delivered fresh vegetables.

In Israel I ordered Japanese udon which were actually udon noodles (no wheat) which came with a the full accoutrements as one would find in Japan with an addition of peanut sauce and crushed peanuts. There’s always that added touch to restaurant food here – better food, less expensive, and no out of control tipping culture. It’s a general theme of Israel – rarely is anyone pushing things in front of your face and saying “buy more”, “pay more”. Walk into a store in America and there’s, “sale” in huge letters and “earn loyalty points” and an enticement to spend more and more. Stores have loyalty cards here and clerks (pakidim) ask if you have one – it’s just not in your face … usually.

Everyone and their grandmother has a credit card machine

When is it in your face? Tzedekah collectors – kind of. There are far less of them here than there are in America and they speak English here. Between minyanim, and sometimes not quite between minyanim, women (very, very frum ones too) will walk into the shul to collect money. That does not happen in New Jersey and I’m very not used to it.

In one shul I took my tefillin off in the lobby and an elderly lady with a walker was sitting next to where I had left my bag asking me for money. (Giving me’eiser is highly recommended – I just prefer to do it in ways which I trust.)
“I don’t understand what you’re saying” … and so she said it again in English.
“Sorry, I don’t use cash – just credit card.” Not deterred. She pulled out a little credit card reader from her purse! The card reader was small and didn’t beep unlike the ones the collectors walk into shul with in America! What is it with machines beeping?
So … I gave her my card … 50 shekels please.
I looked at my credit card statement … she charged 50 dollars and the statement lists a charity in Brooklyn, of all places. Do they send the big beeping machines to New Jersey and the cute little quiet ones to Israel?
I wrote the organization and told them … no response yet … and that is the last time I think I’ll give my credit card to a collector.

More bureaucracy & clean Israeli government offices

I think we’re done with bureaucratic requirements now. We needed an appointment to get a biometric identification card. Unlike in the United States where a driver’s license and a social security card are de facto identification, in Israel and driver’s license is for driving a car and a teudat zehut is your identification card. The number on the card is used everywhere – government, commercial, slicing watermelon … requires your ID number.

Offices have appointments, have never been over-crowded, there are no lines (I hear Israelis wouldn’t use them anyway – have to take a ticket), and they are – clean. Always clean. Even car mechanics have clean garages. DMV’s in New Jersey are not clean. Social security offices in the United States are not clean. City halls are not clean. Here – clean. Clean and well lit – it’s like they care. (ichpat – I’m slowly learning Hebrew.)

Word Association Hebrew

It’s been three months since I arrived and my mind is slowly opening up to learning and remembering more. A while back I wrote about going to ulpan (government provided Hebrew classes – for 6 months – I though it was six weeks) every day being like someone who had never gone to the gym trying to lift maximum weight. It was just too much for me so I have a tutor six days a week for 45 minutes. I do some “word association” … “Colin Mellars” from high school in his tuxedo at the prom looked like a waiter, a “melzer”. Our Israeli neighbor, “Sarit” would make a female waiter a “melzerit.” If they were to make music like Mozart, that would be their product, or a “mutzar”. Past tense female … that would be “Deborah”, or “de-brah”, “she spoke” so normal past tense female verbs have the “rah” ending.

Then I review these things in my head to help them stay there – I also listen to Streetwise Hebrew sometimes, over and over with the same 6 minute episode, until I remember something. “C’dai l’ochol haShakshuka haYom?” Is it a good idea to order the shakshuka today? I’m going to order it anyway – I just want to practice using the word “C’dai” and the podcast says Israelis like these questions.

Other words … I just have to translate from “yeshivish”, the language of yeshivas which don’t have to be correct outside of the whimsical dialect. “KAY-fill” is what we called it in the first gemora I learned in yeshiva … paying double when caught stealing. In modern Hebrew, paying double is “ka-fool” then there’s shelosh-ka-fool for 3x, and so on. Mah-mesh in yeshivish is ma-MASH in modern Hebrew … as in, “ma-MASH lo b’seder” – certainly it’s not okay … when I tried to parallel park. (Dude … we both have bumpers on our car … okay, fine, I’m hitting the side of yours, and it’s not your bumper, it’s your rear door … okay, okay … I’ll pull out…)

Learning by Embarrassment

Metal detectors are funny things in that racial profiling means they don’t care about me though at this last government office, the guy did. “Yeish lah sha-own? telephone? matbey-ot?” I repeated each one just to practice … and it was apparently my jacket causing the problem. I asked the guy how to say jacket in Hebrew … “zsh-acket”. Oh, right.

On my way home the next day, I stopped into the synagogue where I forgot my jacket and told the guy on the way out, “schachti et ha’Zsh-acket” not because I cared whether or not I forgot my jacket … a little embarrassment goes a long way towards remembering.

Then he told me why he was waiting there with a tale of woe and sorrow. It was something bad and I deleted it from my memory, it seems. Sorry empaths. You’ll have to suffice with the forgotten jacket story.

I’m a hero

Sometimes insisting that others speak Hebrew makes you feel like this. Japanese people don’t know English. French people want you to speak French. Israelis want to practice English.

When you’re paying people money, they have time for you. Israelis must speak to me in Hebrew. They will help me practice. (Side note: I say to Israelis, “ani tzarach l’nsoah ivrit” or “ani tzarach l’targal ivrit” … I need to practice Hebrew / I need to try Hebrew … more often than not, I’m told to say the other one. Maybe I should use both words in the same sentence so there’s something to correct for everyone.)

Random guys in English: “Can you take our picture?”
Me, in Hebrew: “sure, if you ask me in Hebrew.”
Random guys in Hebrew: “Can you take our picture?”
Me, in Hebrew: “sure, thank you because I need to practice Hebrew.”
Random guys in Hebrew, “No, you need to try Hebrew.”
Me, in Hebrew: “here’s your picture – I practiced and tried.”
Random guys in English, “Nice picture.”
Me, sternly, in broken Hebrew: “If you want your camera back you will say ‘temunah yafeh‘ [nice picture] right now.”

Words of Affirmation

I whined to my Hebrew teacher – I embarrass my wife and children when I insist on speaking Hebrew. She said, “no, you’re a hero unlike those millions of Americans who are here for years and don’t learn a word of Hebrew.” I’m trying! As every Israeli will say to me, “slowly, slowly” … “l’at, l’at” … don’t try to do too much. From day to day, I don’t really feel that I’m speaking Hebrew better, though it’s happening … l’at, l’at … a lot of ” l’at ” going on.

(My wife has since come around and is supportive of my public embarrassment. Words of affirmation are my primary love language. aww.)

Playing cards with me? You will teach me Hebrew: YaHalom is a diamond … a spade is a “leaf” (aleh), a club is a tilton (which rhymes with “Hilton” so I remember it), and a heart is a “lev” … not lAYv … it’s lEHv … like lev tahor. L’at, l’at.

Also, I won most of the games … like a hero!

Reading Hebrew

Speaking Hebrew: It’s fine during tutoring … out on the street it’s like … “wait … wait a bit more … I have to form the sentence in my head … what rhymes with Mozart again? Wait … ooo or uhh sound? Hold on …” and then I default to Hebrew 101 words more often than I’d like.

There’s an old joke … a guy runs over a rabbit and kills it. He doesn’t know what to do so he sprays it down. The rabbit gets up, waves goodbye … hops 10 paces away … turns around and waves goodbye again … hops 10 paces away … repeat, repeat, repeat.

The joke is that the man sprayed the rabbit with some cosmetic product: “hair spray with permanent wave.”

Now – substitute the variables:
“hair spray” –> “my wife made me do it”
“rabbit” –> “me” and
“wave” –> “photographing a sign”.

That’s probably what it’s like for an innocent bystander watching me walk down the street and translate every sign I don’t understand. I’m getting better at sight reading now and need to pull out my camera to translate, less and less. When I first arrived, it was all Greek to me (you know what I mean). Now every sign isn’t one big scare fest – that thing with big clothing iron looking things connected to wires? Ah. The sign says in Hebrew, “defibrillator”. I can read, I can read, I can really, really read!

That children’s toy? Doh ray mi fah sol la see doh!

A tangible measure of progress

Seriously though, this is how I know I’m progressing. This screenshot from aliyah diary 7 – when I was only here for a month – I had no idea what it said. Though careful practice, trying, and embarrassment, I understand this:

What do a computer store website, a crosswalk, a tree salesman, a British Rabbi who died before I was born, college Hebrew 101, and a Hebrew tutor have in common? Each taught me a different word in that screenshot!

Behira –> free will (choose) <– Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler’s sefer
Soog –> type <– avocado tree salesman
misloach –> package <– Hebrew tutor
coupon –> coupon <– computer store website
… and so on.

When I first arrived I substituted powdered concrete for cat litter to comedic effect until I could find it in a store. The task was daunting. Go on vacation to Arizona or Cape Cod and it’s simple enough to find a Target, a supermarket, or a pet store. It all looks the same and all the stores have the same products. Come to a new country and you have no idea how to find any of that – I’ve been here three months and just found there’s a pet store much closer to me than the two I’d been going to … it’s not on Google maps and there’s no noticeable sign. When I did find one the first time I asked how to say “cat toy” – there was no way I was going to remember that. It was an unpronounceable string of mouth exercises. Now, I can find that store without GPS navigation, decide it’s over-priced, and recognize the root word, even if I haven’t figured out the proper conjugation. Reading is my strong point because I can sit there and stare at the words like Rainman at a crosswalk.

Affirming self – after three months I’m doing alright. Thumbs up!

Aliyah Diary 18: Language – l’at, l’at – little by little

Brief followup about loshon hora

Oh, the food

Everyone and their grandmother has a credit card machine

More bureaucracy & clean Israeli government offices

Word Association Hebrew

Learning by Embarrassment

I’m a hero

Words of Affirmation

Reading Hebrew

A tangible measure of progress

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