Aliyah Diary 37: Technical Difficulties

All Aliyah Diary Entries

Aliyah Diary

Arrival
01. Aug 19, 2024: Preparation In America
02. Aug 25, 2024: First Few Days
03. Aug 29, 2024: Moving In

Cultural Adjustment
04. Sept 4, 2024: First Day of School
05. Sept 8, 2024: Two Weeks In . . .
06. Sept 16, 2024: Getting Comfortable
07. Sept 22, 2024: Ready for Yom Tov
09. Sept 30, 2024: Nasrallahed on the Floor
15. Nov 10, 2024: Safety Fourth
18. Nov 24, 2024: Language – l’at, ‘lat
29. Jan 31, 2025: My Son Still in America
31. Feb 3, 2025: Internet Filtering for Kids
34. Feb 17, 2025: Finding Obscure Things
37. Mar 3, 2025: Technical Difficulties

The Roads
24. Jan 5, 2025: Supermarkets & Highways
25. Jan 12, 2025: Not Cutting Me Off
36. Feb 25, 2025: Road Rules of Israel

Government and Bureaucracy
10. Oct 8, 2024: Driver’s License
11. Oct 13, 2024: Packages. (חבילות.)
13. Oct 30, 2024: Bureaucracies and Stories
19. Nov 28, 2024: Taxation for Americans
22. Dec 23, 2024: Doctors & “Choleh Chadash”
27. Jan 23, 2025: Healthcare in Israel
32. Feb 5, 2025: How To Hire the Wrong Person
33. Feb 10, 2025: Quest to Pay My Taxes

Politics & Thought
12. Oct 25, 2024: October Sun and the Jew
16. Nov 17, 2024: Where People Look Like Me
17. Nov 19, 2024: Jewish Identity and Outlook
21. Dec 11, 2024: Let Freedom Ring

Travel and Trips
08. Sept 25, 2024: Jerusalem Concert
14. Nov 2, 2024: The Kindness of Strangers
20. Dec 5, 2024: Tel Aviv Art Museum
23. Dec 29, 2024: The West Bank. (Shomron)
26. Jan 18, 2025: Dead Sea Beer and Ice Cream
28. Jan 26, 2025: Yarkon River Judaism, Tel Aviv
30. Jan 31, 2025: My Son Visits and we Travel
35. Feb 20, 2025: Mitzpe Ramon Stars, Ein Avdat

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Let’s do some back and forth – explanations follow:

Birds

• US: Birds fly in the rafters. (Home Depot, Costco…)
• IL: Birds mosey down the aisle.

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Internet

• IL: Middle of a video call with a client and the internet goes out.
• US: Trying to reset the router and one by one, family members I hadn’t seen in weeks appeared from different corners in a frantic panic that they don’t have internet. (During Covid home-schooling.)

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Yawning at Work

• IL: Video call with a client at 1 pm (their time) in the afternoon and client wants to know why I keep yawning. You wake up at 1 am your time, go on an impromptu trip to Tevaria and see how you do.
• US … and IL: Client wants to meet in person and I persuade them to use video. (nothing changed)
  

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VPN

• US: Websites broken by a VPN
• IL: Websites work only when using a VPN (many NJ state government websites)
  

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“Free” Online Hebrew

• IL: Pay fee to get something for free. Feel scammed. (Paid $15 for the ‘free’ online Hebrew course that Israel provides to immigrants with lousy sound quality and questions like the above … I mean, it’s possible he just likes maple leaves on white backgrounds.)
• US: Feel like everything should be free.

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Phones

• IL: Whatsapp is more reliable than my regular phone number. (Phone unreliable in my basement – WiFi calling not working)
• US: Have to click a bunch of things to connect and use Free WiFi. (In Israel, you just connect … and data limits are so high that it doesn’t matter if you are on WiFi or not.)
  

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Side Effect of Learning Hebrew

• IL: Found a mistranslation in the Artscroll siddur. (As I’m learning Hebrew.)
• US: Found no variety in siddurim. (One siddur for an entire shul in America, typically.)
  

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Immigration

• US: Encourages immigration … and looks down on immigrants.
• IL: Loves immigrants.

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It’s Included In the Price

• IL: Rent agreements don’t include property taxes.
• US: Rent agreements do include property taxes.
• . . . however, tipping culture is out of control in the US. It’s normal in IL.

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Coconuts

• IL: Coconut can fill up a glass with coconut milk. (My wife asked me to do it over the sink … nahh, it won’t fill up the cup … it’s never even close. Also, I drank some before the picture.)
• US: Coconut milk is best bought in a cardboard box. (Costco.)
  

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Plastic Bags

• IL: Charge for plastic bags.
• US: Use much more expensive vinyl throwaway bags which is worse for the environment because plastic bags are banned.
  

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Water Leaks

• US: Connector bursts and hot water spewing all over the basement until you happen upon it.
• IL: Hot water temperature varies though you get a text message if it seems you have a leak.
  

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Contractors

• US: Contractor is big burly guy named Vinny and he coaches football.
• IL: Contractor wears a button-down shirt and goes fishing.
  

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Tolls

• US: Tollbooths are to collect money.
• IL: Tollbooths are to give junk food. (True story – saw someone give bags of chips to the soldiers manning a checkpoint … I want to do that now.)
  

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Road Signs

• US: Haven’t needed to ask directions since 2007. No one wants to be bothered with it, anyway.
• IL: Have to ask directions all the time. People like to help.

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Simile – : Israel : Bank as America : ?

• US: Making an appointment with a neurologist takes weeks of trying, no one answers the phones, and when you get something done you feel like you’ve just gotten three Tetrises in a row.
• IL: Making an appointment with the bank takes weeks of trying, no one answers the phones, and when you get something done, you feel like you’ve just gotten three Tetrises in a row.

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Government

• US: Ugly, disorganized government offices with strict rules that you have to follow.
• IL: Clean, very organized electronically integrated systems which are highly efficient … except when something doesn’t work and then you cry until someone bends the rules for you.
  

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The Winter

• US: 40 degrees in January is a warm day.
• IL: 40 degrees in January is a temporary blip with temperatures in the high 60s on most days.

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Freedom

• US: Feels routine. Feels like work. Have to watch behind you.
• IL: Feels like vacation every day.

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