It’s a little under 11 months since I first arrived and I think I’m fully ‘at home’ now with no desire to go back to the ‘old country’. Similarly, after 11 months we stop saying kaddish for a dead relative because if he hasn’t been lifted out of purgatory yet, it’s not happening.

The Early Days

Reading an early diary entry from only a few weeks after I arrived, locating a gym, I was just pushing along as best I could, keeping to advice someone gave me: set a goal to accomplish one thing each day. That will make you tired and anything more than that is just going to be too much. One day was finding a gym – lacking GPS taking me more than “close enough”, searching many floors of the building for it and asking questions based on Hebrew 101 and 102 I took in college 20 years ago, walking through it and figuring out how to join … that was enough for that day.

Liminally overwhelming to find when you just arrived and don’t speak the language or culture

On the other side of the gym building is a road with shops on either side – it took me a week or two to venture that far since I was so out of sorts.

Walking into a supermarket … overwhelming and lost. (Now I realize I just don’t like most supermarkets here. I think I found one I like … yesterday.)

Liminally overwhelming again – and dang, that’s a narrow aisle

Another day might be buying and installing light fixtures after buying / using three different types of drill bits and trying to figure out why Israel only sold impact drills … until I tried drilling into concrete ceilings. Multiple days were spent, in spurts, putting books on shelves. Another day on the multi-step process of getting an Israeli driver’s license and having a team of Haredi Jews pilpul over where to find “Gid Optik” when I was at the right building – which turned out to be “Good Optic” and was just around the corner.

Another metaphorical day was literally just figuring out how to get packages delivered and pick them up. I drove 1/2 hr out of my way to pick up a laptop which turned out to be delivered about two miles from my house. Another day was spent on getting a biometric ID and another on a Teudat Ma’avar which is like a Passport when you’re here less than a year.

I’m really getting into liminal photos. I think it goes well with the aesthetic of this article – or is it the aesthetic?

Venturing Further

Only after about three months did I venture as far north as Tel Aviv, which isn’t exactly “far north”. Learning that a red circle on a door means “entrance” … not, as an American would suspect, “do not enter”, was quick enough. Figuring out signs where I could read the letters and not pronounce anything took some time. Heck, I just learned that the sign I repeately see on the highway towards my house which says in Hebrew letters the sounds B-R-K-S means there’s a food truck ahead that sells “borekahs”!

Words which wouldn’t stay in my brain and I couldn’t pronounce now do … sometimes. “Tzadeh t’ufah” … airport. First time I heard that, no way I was remembering that. Our first full day, I said “karach” and “smi-CHA” over and over and over and over trying to remember how to say “pillow” and “blanket”. I’m terrible at learning languages though it’s coming slowly, slowly (with daily tutoring).

11 Months to Open and Business and Pay Taxes

Sort of. Doesn’t seem they’ve come out of my business bank account yet. I arrived in August, delayed meeting with an accountant until December, and set a deadline for myself to have everything done and taxes paid starting by Feb 28th. Ha. It’s July before it’s all setup. Maybe if February had a leap day …

If the universe is expanding, what it is expanding into? (ooooooooo……)

Needed to get a(n expensive) tax letter explaining the structure of having a business in New Jersey with a partner while I work full time from Israel and want to avoid 37% taxes off the top if I don’t hire accountants and lawyers to create business structures and paychecks. Had to explain this too many times to banks, other accoutants, and so on until it’s all setup. Israeli banks don’t want to work with Americans and make that clear … though I’m told it’s just as hard for Israelis to open bank accounts. (Come on… it can’t be that bad for everyone …)

Wise.com denied me an(other) business account because they didn’t get it – I’ve used them for years for business transfers around the world as a patent attorney. Instead, I’m using Adesco which is based in Israel and they filled out gobs of paperwork on top of the hundreds (not exagerration) of documents for the bank, for creating a company here, and so on. Have to fill out more forms to pay the health insurance tax, wait for the tax authority to decide to accept my money which took months … can’t make this up.

There were at least 20 people involved, in some way, in creating my business here.

Oh, payroll is automatic in the United States. In Israel you have to manually do it each month in online banking … so I ended up with a negative balance in my personal account with that surprise.

I searched my photos for “bank” and this is what it gave me.

Meeting Friends

I have a lot of longtime friends back in my community in the old country and went through a period of loneliness after coming to Israel. Even if I didn’t spend time with a friend for one or two months because we were busy, I knew I could.

I read somewhere that the good friends you make are by your early 20s and that’s it. Few people have the time or will to invest in the amount of sitting around and chilling enough to get close to others once they’re “adults”.

Thankfully, I have a good friend from college who moved to the new country shortly after college and I finally spent a good amount of time with him and realized we have a good enough relationship to hold an industrial hose towards him and threaten him since he wouldn’t let me clean his car (more) – while he stood on it to try and make it backfire. That’s just not something you can do with someone you met in your new community only this year.

Using phones too much turns you into … a rug from Costco that really brings the room together, don’t you think?

Unfortunately, I didn’t feel secure enough in my relationship to actually turn the hose on and see what happened. There’s always next time. (I think I’d have won.)

Planting Tribbles … wait, troubles

New Jersey: weeds, squirrels, never enough sun. I got some sour grapes each year (not a parable) and that’s about it. Squirrels got everything else despite my efforts otherwise. Flowers … our house was too shaded, mostly.

Israel: weeds, cat poop, too much sun. Avocado trees need full sun … until you’re ‘burning’ the leaves. Roses … I can’t believe this. I have too much sun for them and they die. Where is the best place to put them where they’re enough sun and not too much sun? Ask me next year. Actually, someone help me.

That’s funny – this apple seed is sprouting! I planted it and then out popped a weed which I nurtured like a bird whose nest has been invaded by a Coocoo. (Look it up.) Here are the steps.

Finally … installed the grill

I’ve mentioned this here, here, and here. Decided to bring my natural gas grill from America, taking up precious cargo space, because I’m told it can be converted for use with Israeli propane tanks. We called the gas company and … we need to buy our own conversion kit. I bought one that converted the wrong way … gas company guy is mad and won’t come out again. Returned it and got one that converted the right way … plumber won’t come and do it because his truck is in Lebanon and he’s too frustrated trying to work.

The propane tanks for the house and grill

Finally get a handyman to do it and … “your grill has a major hole in the side and the metal innards are flaked chips at this point – just replace it.” I wait for the dollar to go back up against the shekel … that didn’t happen. Grills are somehow hard to find – one hardware store near me has some not that greatly rated Coleman grills. Granted, I didn’t search too hard for stores … I ordered a Weber grill that grilled itself a hole in its side because there just aren’t any other good choices here.

The grill was purchased online which is strange because it is the type of thing that I only ever purchased in person in the old country whereas computers are something I only bought online, yet here I buy them in person.

Turns out I bought a grill twice as big. Oops. This thing is great though – wow. Maybe it’s higher pressure from a propane tank than a U.S. natural gas line? Not sure … let’s just say … wow, this thing heats up fast and for that, it’s good to have some things which are upgrades from what you had in America to make your transition easier. Someone said that to me somewhere along the way and I hold by it.

100 shekels to bring it up those stairs? Are the stairs expanding into nothingness?

Meanwhile, the delivery guy brought it up all of eight steps and then demanded 100 shekels for his work. We went back and forth about how he had to tell me that before he did it and I would have said no. “You got the work though…” That’s not how getting paid works for me. He said he was going to bring it back down. I said, “okay” and went inside …as I was going, he said “50 shekels”. I said, fine, it’s a tip for delivering it. He adamantly refused to call it that.

Meh.

Live and learn … America does delivery better. It’s a art of efficiency in America. In Israel they call you first, tell you what they want to change, give you instructions, ask for instructions … ugh, just deliver it.

Now for a visit back to America booked months ago … must I still go?

The Entire Aliyah Diary

Arrival

01. Aug 19, 2024: Preparation In America
02. Aug 25, 2024: First Few Days
03. Aug 29, 2024: Moving In
62. July 17, 2025: I MADE IT

Cultural Adjustment Fun

Cultural Adjustment Difficulties

On The Roads

Shopping

11. Oct 13, 2024: Packages. (חבילות.)
34. Feb 17, 2025: Finding Obscure Things
41. Mar 23, 2025: New Shopping Habits
44. Apr 6, 2025: Pesach Shopping & Osher Ad

Government and Bureaucracy

Politics and Thought

Travel: South Israel

Travel: Central/North Israel

Travel: From Israel to …

54. June 4, 2025: Marseille and Avignon