Aliyah Blog 99: I was wrong (and 21 other fun facts)

---

Waterproof Socks

In the last blog entry, I timidly wrote about my waterproof socks. Some in my extended family made fun of me and I thought no one else would wear such a thing. Instead – multiple readers have asked me where to buy them! (They asked in private.) Look carefully at people’s ankles when you’re hiking to find another blog reader.

These are the ones I bought and were the only ones on Amazon at the time: https://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Breathable-RANDY-SUN-Pair-Ocean-Knee/dp/B08Q7WTV7V

These and many others undercut the price of the originator and ship to Israel: https://www.amazon.com/Jspupifip-Waterproof-Breathable-Outdoor-Kayaking/dp/B0CRSV1LG4

---

Missing Coin Collection

In a very early blog entry on arriving in Israel, I accused the moving company of taking my coin collection with many coins from my great-grandmother dating back to the late 1800s. Turns out I just hid it really well. Months later it turned up hidden in a tent peg bag hidden in a piece of furniture. It was such a good hiding spot that not only did the movers not find it, neither did I. It was like the afikomen hidden under a chair that no one sits down on for months.

---

Tax mistakes

Granted that I remember making a big mistake in the article on taxes for Americans in Israel. My brain isn’t granting me my wish to remember what it was even after re-perusing the article. Oh well. Don’t believe every tax grant you read about from a blog.

---

Bad dream about the exchange rate

I had a bad dream about the exchange rate dropping to 3.1 shekels to the dollar. I woke up and it was 3.08 shekels to the dollar.

Here’s the potentially biggest financial mistake I made – I have a balloon mortgage tied to the consumer price index due in a bunch of months, in full, and the shekel hasn’t been this strong since Shimon Peres shook hands with Yassir Arafat in 1993.

This is the one in a thousand chance – such an outlier – that I hadn’t planned for it.

Who knew that Trump would be re-elected Grover Cleavland style and devalue the U.S dollar as much as possible?
Who knew that Israel had thousands of pagers in the hands of Hezbollah which blinded them and harmed their chances at reproduction?
Who knew that Israel would recognize Somaliland giving us an airbase next to Yemen?
Who knew that Israel would be so successful at attacking its nemesis, Iran, from within and out and that Iran’s economy would collapse soon-after?
Who knew that Israel’s technology would be so effective that even our adversaries (if you believe their public rhetoric) would be buying billions of dollars of our technology?
Who knew that there’d me so many purchases of Israeli tech companies in the millions of dollars and the Tel Aviv stock exchange would be a place for the world to invest its money?

(sing to the tune of “Dayenu”)

---

Business formation headaches

I’ve written about my trials setting up a corporate entity in Israel to avoid double-taxation. I didn’t want to pay a company 10 or 15% of my earnings to pay me a salary / avoid double-taxation. Turns out they don’t charge that much and my information was wrong. Seems it would have been just as cost-effective and I spent way too much aggravation over a period of months to setup the structure myself.

---

Plant an avocado tree, get green peppers

Early on, I wrote about my experience planting trees on my mispeset (porch). After a trip to Israel years ago eating as many kumquats as we could off a tree in someone’s backyard (long time reader who lives near Ashdod – I’m talking about you), I wanted one in Israel.

My wife wanted an avocado tree so I planted one of those as well.

During the summer months I watered the trees with a lot, lot of water multiple times a week to keep the soil from drying out. Finally, after a year and a half, I have a kumquat snack multiple times a day. It seems the fruit comes in the winter and is about to peter out before Tish B’Av.

The other tree – plant avocado, grow green peppers. Lacking access to soil on my property, I once through the remnants of a green pepper that I was eating into the pot. Funny how doing that in America never resulting in anything growing.

---

Israel isn’t unique in being non-American

While I work, I often have nerdy YouTube videos playing on another screen to occupy my mind and yesterday a video by an American woman who lived in Germany for seven years and went back for her first time sounded like me. I thought these things were unique to Israel and certainly not a place like Germany – examples:

• Billboards, billboards, billboards. America even puts signs in front of its signs. American roads are full of them, and she points out that they’re also in bathrooms, on gas station pumps, and benches. (I’ve even seen them in urinals)
  
• Convenience versus connection. America priorities convenience – how fast and with the least amount of effort can I get what I want? Not-America has commercialism, though you have to talk to other people.
  
• Food: Americans tolerate anything as food. The longer the shelf-life, the better. Not-America has fruit only when it’s in season and tastes best and demands higher quality and fresh products.
  
• Healthcare: No one can tell you what a procedure will cost in America and then you get a bill with absurd charges for products you could find in a pharmacy for 1/5th the price … though the bill says you ‘only’ have to pay a few thousand dollars of it making you feel like you got a deal. The rest of the world has fixed and far lower prices, if you have to pay at all.

---

The non-homogeneity of Israeli is non-homogenous

Most American Jews seems to have a perception of Israel based on Jerusalem culture. That’s were Americans visit … want to feel the most at ease speaking English? Go to the tourist sites in Jerusalem.

Want to see the stereotypes about how Israelis drive? It’s most true in Jerusalem.

Want to see a city made of white stone and Jewish sites over the past thousands of years? Best places to find that is Jerusalem.

Want an intense experience? Go to Jerusalem.

Want to learn Hebrew grammar? Talk to your kids who speak Hebrew all day.

“Can you put on me, this necklace?”
“Can you do for me, this good deed?”
“Can you defenestrate me, out the window?”

Technically correct sentences in English and proper grammar in Hebrew even though there’s no Hebrew equivalent of the word “defenestrate” though I’m sure Putin has a word for it.

---

I was wrong about Celsius

Celsius is for chemical experiments that use liquid. It’s terrible for everyday use – a number between 1 and 100 in every day usage is a lot simpler and more expressive than a number between -10 and 35.

My American friend who solely uses Celsius after being here so many years said – “you have to say it’s in the 60s – I just say, ‘it’s 14’ and have an exact number.”

I hear that point. Still- I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura!

---