In third grade we had a Tandy single-color LCD laptop with the BASIC programming language. One of the features was “SOUND xxx” and you’d hear the sound in that number of Hertz. I started writing every pitch on a new line of code in a program I saved as LONGLIST. One day I learned how to write “FOR N = 50 TO 15000 STEP 10” and “NEXT N” and my LONGLIST program went from dozens of lines of code to three.

Meanwhile, for the past 18 years I have been manually adding patents to my website, copying and pasting the abstract, claims, and text as well as downloading a PDF copy and cutting out an image to show on my webpage. After too much time spent down an AI rabbit hole and using the latest and greatest just released GPT v5, I finally have a script that does all of this automatically.

What was thousands of hours of work is now typing a few words that executes 1000 lines of code that I didn’t write. Behind that is a billion lines of code that others wrote.

Holy Words

Compare these two phrases:

1) motzei lechem min haAretz

This first phrase is holy – I’ve heard that almost every Friday night since before I could talk or code. It’s what we’d call, “the bread prayer”. Thanking G_d for bringing bread out of the earth.

That’s a few words with 1000s of lines of code behind them, backup up by trillions to the 100th power of lines of code of the universe that allow us to make bread. Holy words.

Then we take that, and in everyday Hebrew language, my wife might say this to me:

2) motzei ashpah min haBayit

What the heck? I’m still in awe thinking about the meaning behind a few words that cause a computer to play every sound it’s speaker can make, extrapolating that to billions of lines of code to grab from the internet for all the patents I’ve written and organize them on my website, to a few words that we say every Sabbath with intrinsic awe of creation – something we celebrate every Sabbath.

Then you’re going to reduce the word “motzei” to bring out trash? I can’t say that!

(True, though I still have to bring it out because my wife asked – don’t tell her I admitted that.)

Yeshiva Words in Modern Hebrew

The “lowveh” is the “borrower” in the Talmud. It’s the same word in modern Hebrew only it’s something unretainable in my head because they turn the double v sound into a w and put the accents somewhere else.

In yeshiva, a “Tzaddik” is someone who is holy. In modern Hebrew you might say, “Ata tzodek” … “you are correct”. When you give “tzedekah” you’re actually just doing what’s correct.

“Maneh“ is the stuff that falls from heaven in the desert with double portions on Friday so there’s no collection on the Sabbath. Wow. Amazing holy stuff … we think about it in connection with the 10 plagues and Jews exiting Egypt – miracle of miracles! In modern Hebrew it just means, “portion of food”. In the name of everything that is holy, how could you?

“Kabbalah” is that thing that the Ari Z”l (Rav Luria) and Madonna study. In Hebrew, it’s just a receipt that you throw away or reception desk where you check-in (not where you can never leave, though maybe with the right kind of Kabbalah there’s a stairway to heaven; I like classic rock).

The Cairo “genizah” is the place where worn out holy works were placed over a thousand years to be found and researched once someone thought of looking what was on the other side of the hole in the wall where they through stuff out. Fun stuff like “usaneh tokef” was found, dating to hundreds of years before it was allegedly written in Europe (which is a whole ‘nother interesting story).

In fact, even at the Western Wall there’s a genizah to throw away worn out holy stuff:

Yet, at the house of Chaim Weizmann, there’s “the Weizmann genizah” and apparently, it’s not his religious trash … it’s where they keep his papers to look them up and find them … they’re his “archives”.

While on the garbage theme, on Chanukah we speak about the miracle of the “pach shemen” – the oil that lasted for 8 days (for which even the first day is miracle because … why should oil burn at all? Wonder of wonders). Yet, in Israel, a garbage can is a “pach ashpa” or they call it a “pach“. Not so holy now …

Going to learn a perek of Gemora or tell me how many perakim are in this week’s parsha? It just means “chapters” all the same in a book about a prince on a tiny planet that somehow retains an atmosphere.

… and that bochur that learns in yeshiva? It just means “young man”. Nothing holy about a bochur per se.

It’s not “Shiach” my Rebbe in yeshiva used to say. While I never actually asked him to translate it, it seemed to mean something like, “It’s not fitting to …”. In modern Hebrew it means, “Belongs to…”. <shrug>

Turns out “hummas” isn’t the name of … you know, hummus. It just means, “chickpeas”. Mind blown.

Tongue Twister

What about this sentence: “Shauel HaShu-el oseh she-ool b’shoel“. I think this should be the “She sells seashells at the seashore” sentence of Hebrew. They’re words I learned and I like to put similar sounding words together so I can remember them.

It means, “Shaul [a name] the fox coughed in sh’oel” which is the underworld sort of place where there’s no recognition or understanding of G_d. (Think of it as the “upside down” in Stranger Things which might be where the Jewish writers got the idea from.) It’s in the siddur.

Too Much English

Israel writes all public signs in Hebrew, Arabic, and English – in that order. Private signs can be anything. and many stores, especially in malls, they write store names only in English. Other stores will have signs that say “Sale!” or “Thank you for being our customer” and it’s only in English. Not cool. Also, don’t use words like “situatzia” when you have a perfectly cromulent word that embiggens us all: matzav.

Then there’s English words that Israelis think are Hebrew. I got a flat in my tire and the guy at the garage trying to speak English while I was trying to speak Hebrew said, “I don’t know how to translate pun-TURE into English.” Sigh. It’s one of these elegant words that no one uses in America anymore, yet in Israel it’s a regular word, even though they stole the “k” for some reason. That sound does exist in Hebrew. <shrug>

When Only Americans Can Understand

My Hebrew teacher sent me a picture of this new store and asked me what the name means. She flubbed her way through trying to say “Copenhagen” having no idea what it said, reading it in English letters for the first time. Tell me why a bilingual Hebrew teacher has to ask the American how to read a sign on a mall in Israel?

Then she asked why it’s called “Flying Tiger”? Ask a Danish person, I guess?

The Entire Aliyah Diary

Beginning and End

01. Aug 19, 2024: Preparation In America
02. Aug 25, 2024: First Few Days
03. Aug 29, 2024: Moving In
62. July 17, 2025: I MADE IT
75. Sept 14, 2025: Leaving USA Behind

Cultural Adjustment Fun

Cultural Adjustment Difficulties

On The Roads

Shopping

11. Oct 13, 2024: Packages. (חבילות.)
34. Feb 17, 2025: Finding Obscure Things
41. Mar 23, 2025: New Shopping Habits
44. Apr 6, 2025: Pesach Shopping & Osher Ad

Government and Bureaucracy

Politics and Thought

Travel: Indoors / Museums

Travel: Outdoors (Except Hikes)

Travel: Hikes

Travel: From Israel to …

54. June 4, 2025: Marseille and Avignon
66. Aug 11, 2025: Return to America 1
67. Aug 14, 2025: Return to America 2
70. Aug 24, 2025: US Price Compare