Aliyah Blog 102: What a Difference a Year Makes

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A Year Ago

At about month 7, Purim my first year, I had reached a low point. I had written about it though not shared the article anywhere in a blog entry called “holiday loneliness“. For years Purim had been a holiday to see all my friends, greet more friends and students at the door, and dance with bochorim collecting money, arriving in stretch limousines. My first year in Israel, Purim was on a Friday so no one wanted to travel for Purim and I felt like I had no one to give shaloch manos to. I paid someone to send shaloch manos to my friends in America which probably made it worse. The following Sunday I spent the day in the car by myself driving to far off hikes – which were nice – while the rest of the country worked or had school. It was a lonely time.

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This Year

Purim still isn’t the same – I wasn’t intimately involved in preparing the shaloch manos though at least I knew some people who I’d be giving them to … neighbors I have become closer to and friends who are people like myself who made aliyah after me.

Now, I’m happy … unfortunately, no shaloch manos to my friends back in America because of the emotional stress on myself, though I’d love for them to visit and we often host their kids for Shabbos who are in yeshiva / seminary in Israel for the year.

(We’ve rearranged walls in our basement to make ‘proper’ guest rooms which is nice – and the plumber showed us that our instahot from the prior owner was connected incorrectly … it should be ‘inline’, adding heat as needed, to water from the solar-heater on the roof – we shouldn’t have to change valves when the water is cold or we run out of gas (which still happens). boiler on the roof that provides solar-heated water, not ‘one or the other with changing valves’ manually. Also, I praised the contractor for being here every day to do the work. He said, “I have to – you’re living here.” Best contractor ever – he could give lessons to American contractors who disappear for weeks and months.)

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Pesch and Three Fazzi Electricity – תלת פאזי

Now I know what a ‘fazzi’ is – it just means ‘phase’ and no one could translate it in a sensical way until I finally asked an electrical engineer who made aliyah 20 years ago (Hi Mike). Three phase electricity is a thing here … it’s barely used in the United States. (Car charging stations in Europe are often three phase and they are never so in North America, making the plugs in the US simpler and charge times longer.)

It was too overwhelming last year to figure out how to replace the tiny oven in the small Pesach kitchen left for us from the prior owner. I bought a induction cook top and we made do. This year, I thought I knew enough to buy online … which is cheaper, I think, however, websites in Israel aren’t like in America and two wrongs made a right … I would have bought something not quite right and the website didn’t work so I went to a store, after AI told me it’s a “shuko” plug from the picture. Then I went to the store with this knowledge with picture of plug and outlet (the tecka which goes in the sheka – it rhymes in Hebrew) and found out I’d be wiring the plug myself anywhere because there’s many kinds.

Side point: almost all small ovens here are made in Italy.

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Where do I get shmura matzah?

Last year, my first-year shopping for Pesach, I was told handmade matzah is only sold by individual sellers doing business out of their basement or wherever – not true. It’s in all the supermarkets in 1 kg boxes (much bigger than American 1 lb boxes) and cheaper than even Costco in America.

We also need oat matzah – last year that led me on a goose chase (Lev Tahor doesn’t eat chicken and we wanted to me machmir for Pesach … I kid … that’s a baby goat … side factoid: goat milk and goat yogurt is easy to find here – miso soup, however, is hard to find and not so good. Brown rice? Non-existent. Okay, enough chasing geese. Back to oat matzah).

Oat matzah – there’s a website saying where to buy it around the country I went around to places that didn’t exist. I finally found it in a health food store for too much money and afterwards walked into a supermarket next door where it was less expensive. I went back there today – it’s in a haredi city where I no longer try and love every Jew. Instead, I embrace becoming an anti-semite upon passing the entrance.

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Becoming an Anti-Semite

One of my packages from China is in a locker there, only the locker doesn’t work, the company is closed, and I keep getting texts saying they are going to send my package back. The parking spots are tighter even than other Israeli parking spots, people ‘park’ their shopping carts at funny angles in aisles, the lines are slower even than other Israeli supermarkets, beer bellies abound, things aren’t so clean, personal space is a cultural suggestion that even secular people shopping there adopt, and … the people are very, very nice.

I came home and ate some frozen yogurt on our freezer to calm down.

Being Yourself

This year, there was a cashier eating it for a snack in a different supermarket. That was strange – not because it was a cashier eating matzah – it was strange because it wasn’t even Purim yet!

It’s also just nice to be able to walk around and not have to “explain yourself”. One Pesach I took some of my kids to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City and the African American at security looked in my bag and said, “is that yo’ special cracker?” Yes, I am, you spook. She quickly apologized and I said it was fine … really, I didn’t take offense (or give the Scooby Doo / Back to the Future retort – it’s used in both. The white-person slur in Back to the Future and apparently the 1960s was “Peckerwood”.).

Another time I was coming into Newark airport and a flight from Tel Aviv landed at the same time. The crack officer said, “I bet I know which flight you came on – Tel Aviv!” I answered, “no, Dominican Republic.” He felt so bad like he was going to get charged for a racist felony and I assured him it was just fine.

In Israel, cashiers eat matzah and everyone knows it’s Purim even if they call triangle shaped confections with filling in the center, “oznei Haman” … “Haman’s ears”, rather than “hamantaschen”. Non-Haredi people here don’t seem to know Yiddish phraseology which just seems normal in America.

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Ulpan Again

When I made aliyah in late August, I jumped into 5 day a week Ulpan on September 1st to learn Hebrew. It was too much to handle with work during American hours at night. They told me that’s how it is – five does a week. I have a daily tutor instead.

A year and half later and the same teacher is teaching the same level Ulpan two days a week. It still exhausts me, though two days a week is manageable for me. It’s worth checking in with your city’s Ulpan because apparently the programs aren’t as exacting in schedule as they claim. That’s basically all of Israel. Things are always interesting here and you always have to adapt. It’s not boring and never stoic. … and I went from feeling like the dumbest in the class to one of the smartest. For whatever reason, in this class at the same level as my last class, many have just come out of introductory Hebrew.

I saw one of the people from my old class there – he was in the next level now (of course). He remembered me and my name. I would have remembered him if he were patient enough to give me 20 more chances. He said the class had more or less stayed together for a year and they knew each other well. I heard that people often make good friends with those in Ulpan.

Side fun fact: Last time I went to ulpan, it was all Americans and some Russians. This year there’s more French people than Americans – they all sit on the same side of the room for some reason and all know some English. One French guy with such a heavy accent and look just smacks of, “my name must be Pierre” (it’s not).

The French people couldn’t stop laughing at the English word, “butcher”. In French it’s “boucher” (say it in a French accent). Yeah, English does stupefy words from foreign languages.

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English literature

Before making aliyah, I looked into getting a Kindle to keep access to a huge library of English books. I didn’t like it. Amazon is a thing here, though it takes longer and you pay to ship books. Steimatzky book stores have a decent selection of popular English books, though being Israel, they’re not all the same. They can order some books though not others – depends if they’re distributed in Israel.

If you’re the kind of person that would browse Barnes and Nobles for books instead, at least where I live, there’s no shortage of English books – people are often posting on Whatsapp that they’re giving away piles of books they no longer want (small houses are helpful for this, I suppose) and there’s a huge free library in closet after closet outside someone’s house. They have too many to fit and want you to take them, not just borrow them.

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Dentist

My wife found our dentist and I tried the nightmare of using a dentist with my insurance. Then a crown broke and our dentist had no appointments. For an emergency appointment with my health insurance, I’d have to travel to Tel Aviv and who knows if they’d replace a crown on the spot. (It’s a front tooth and my “s” looked and sounded like I was smelling with a tongue like a nachash – I exaggerate for effect). I called around … mostly “”Whatsapp’ed'” around … business here usually use Whatsapp, unlike America. Found a nearby dentist who replaced the crown for $375 and did an excellent job. He also did it on the spot.

He wouldn’t take X-rays of my entire mouth because it wasn’t worth it to him financially and sent me to a place that just does them. Well, when you charge $375 instead of about $1000 – $2500 in America, I’ll take the inconvenience of going elsewhere for X-rays.

Had this happened in my first few months here … oy. Would have been so overwhelming. For that, you do have an aliyah coordinator who helps you and at least in our case, she responds quickly (via Whatsapp, of course).

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Proving an American Address

This is annoying. We sold our house in America and now I don’t have a fixed address … financial institutions (some of them) give a hard time about proving your address, as does the DMV and credit reporting agencies. I don’t have a utility bill or government document mailed to any address and my mail comes to an online snail mail –> website convertor. Financial institutions won’t use it except when you find workarounds. It’s a mess.

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Chelsea boots

These are super popular in Israel. They also have no arch support. Boo. Hardware stores sell them and they cost $120 – $300, easily. They all hurt.

In a discount store that ends with the word “stock” (that’s popular around here – zolstock, maxstock, abundancestock, sweetstock, ur’mom-stock …) I found a Chinese knockoff for about $14 and they only had my size! That’s Israel … look around long enough and yee shall find. For that price, I bought them and they’re just as uncomfortable as the $300 pairs.

Now I’m looking for the proper pads to put in to make them hurt less. In America, I only found them on Amazon, not in pharmacies. Here, the choices in pharmacies are even more limited.

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Plenty more experiences in upcoming blog entries …

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